how to save a life
How To Save A Life
by The Fray
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
11:14 PM
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Thursday, December 28, 2006
these are lives you hold in your hand
and that is why i'm still trying to call people since i woke up today. arrgh. and i could be in malaysia shopping now. but oh well, priorities and commitments.
the kids are a mixed bag really. some of them are quite direct and rude, but weren't most of us when we were that age? and others just simply make your day by being ever so polite. and i mean guys! when i was thirteen i think i'd be like, "okay bye" and slam the phone down. some of them even say, "thank you for calling" and it melts my heart.
indeed i think it's going to be a "mixed bag" year ahead too. but what God's been telling me is that it's about perspective; it's how we choose to see what we're in. and that's something i've picked up along this year, thanks to a certain someone. and i admit, my views on things have changed. i honestly used to be very negative and pessimistic, and many can attest to that. but i've changed, and i can clearly see how God's prepared the way for me to step into where i am now.
it's going to be a challenging year ahead, but i know it's going to be fruitful with God by my side.
5:59 PM
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Tuesday, December 26, 2006
hope
december - what many people term the month of hope - is the time of the year with the greatest number of suicide cases. interesting fact, isn't it? it's that time of the year we all wait in eager anticipation for. you know, that time? surely you do know, the time for all the gifts and presents? yeah it's that time.
i wish my life (and my thoughts) could be that simple. do you think i'm smart? i don't think so. i'm not a straight A student (cos i don't want to be). i don't even have an o level cert to show anyone! i don't even know why i'm cursed with such insight and views on things in life. it's not even an interest anymore; i don't want to know more about the accursed human condition.
okay, pardon the bout of teenage angst.
back to the topic of hope. why do we hope? why do we dare to dream; to envisage plans for a future unseen and shrouded by the mists of time? what causes us to possess that belief that makes us hold firm to a certain perspective or view?
why do i want to even believe that something will come to pass? why is there that room for hope, when everything could be an absolute? it's just a grey area - sitting on the fence - not knowing which outcome fate chooses as she opens that door of time and everything follows through. why do i want to wish against what i feel is inevitable, like sailing back against the current upstream. it's draining, very draining.
which is worse: having a predetermined choice, or having none at all? i can't seem to decide between the two. yes, it has to be ambiguous because it's a public blog.
and we'll leave questions unanswered. don't expect to see this blog next year. spoke to mad about different things on the cab ride back from michleong's place. we chanced upon the topic of blogs and younger youths who read them. i've yet to determine where i stand with regards to that issue. and i had better make my mind up soon.
11:38 PM
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the slow dance
repost from the other blog. and it's a timely reminder too. consider this my present to weird readers out there.
SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
12:07 AM
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Sunday, December 24, 2006
the night before christmas
so it's christmas eve already, and truth be told, i haven't finished preparing for christmas. as such, most people will only get their gifts on christmas day. i would, and am supposed to be, fretting over the fact that i'm still ill-prepared for christmas, yet corrinne may's the gift is just so soothing. oh well...
hmmm. 3 months probation as a leader in z1. what joy. haha. i'm now with bro kf, and i'm the only other guy in the section?! imagine if i had chosen to help zhichao. eeps. and according to bro kf there are only 4 sps so far - keith yong, ezra, inez and... CHENGTNG?!?!? whaaaaaaat. -.- oh the insanity. oh the insanity. have i said oh the insanity? lol. okay. i'm just being weird. it was nice when they annouced it; the other leaders were really welcoming. jas por was like, "hi brother isaac." and bro adrian said the same thing! arrgh. i cannot get used to it. really. but oh well, at the least the age gap's wide enough so that i don't get too close to the youths. don't want friendship to get in the way of ministry, it's something that i fear may happen. i'm going to have to watch myself. and i have to start getting to know the adults.
two transitions. ac and being a leader. it's not going to be easy, but God's going to make a way. when God calls you to it, He will see you through it. and i believe that.
rahh. sis won't be around for christmas. she's spending half of december in malaysia. weirdness...
12:05 AM
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Tuesday, December 19, 2006
delusions
a song before i leave. i'll edit and add on tonight.
Two Beds and a Coffee Machine
by Savage Garden
And she takes another step
Slowly she opens the door
Check that he is sleeping
Pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor
Been up half the night screaming now it's time to get away
Pack up the kids in the car
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through
And there are children to think of
Baby's asleep in the backseat
Wonder how they'll ever make it through this living nightmare
But the mind is an amazing thing
Full of candy dreams and new toys in another cheap hotel
Two beds and a coffee machine
But there are groceries to buy
And she knows she'll have to go home
Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Wonder how I ever made it through
Another bruise to try and hide
Another alibi to write
Another lonely highway in the black of night
But there's hope in the darkness
You know you're going to make it
Another ditch in the road
Keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on
And the years go by so fast
Silent fortress built to last
Wonder how I ever made it
2:53 PM
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celebrate
yeah, as the title says, yesterday was celebrate. wow. okay. i guess it was pretty alright. food was good, though the long queues just sucked. eventually i didn't even get any chicken wings. grrr.
sis came back yday. yayness. i'm supposed to meet her in half an hour at j8. catching the holiday. yupp.
i need to revert back to my pensive self. this isn't who i am. i feel so empty.
oh let us sing christmas carols! i think the corrinne may christmas cd was a good purchase.
2:33 PM
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Monday, December 18, 2006
it's a matter of national pride
fear the nation of saac!!!
bow before me!
-.-
12:13 AM
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Sunday, December 17, 2006
of camp, shopping, and fun times
everyone's going to do a recount of what happened in camp. so if you're looking for that, search elsewhere. but you could always ask me for sermon notes! [: haha. but this year's camp was different. i guess it's cos this camp was a camp where God moved mightily, and i mean it. but you had to want to catch and meet God, or He'll pass you by. it's not like previous camps where His Presence is just so real and you get swept away even if you aren't serious. you can still go away feeling that spiritual high. but this year, i just felt that we had to press in for what we wanted, and that was what the pastors felt too. how much God touches you depends on how much you are willing to press in. it highlights the importance of going into camp, or any other service for that matter, prayed up and with an expectation.
Lord I thirst for You
I long to be in Your Presence
My soul will wait on You
Father draw me nearer
Draw me nearer
To the beauty of Your Holiness
I will wait on You
Almighty God
In the beauty of Your Holiness
I will worship You
Almighty God
In the beauty of Your Holiness
i like the old songs we sing in camp. those are the songs that mean more to me than any catchy song we sing now ever will. those are songs i sing in tawg. yeahh.
went shopping on friday with tim and bronson. took ages just to find a jacket. rahh. i'm getting my shirt on sunday. pricey stuff though, and just for a single event. well, maybe for prom next time? -shrugs. met jeann and rachael after that. they were going around stores asking if they could leave publicity for the vday event thing, so we tagged along. jeann and i left at 5.30pm, leaving bronson and rachael to ermm, continue that noble task. haha.
went back, changed and went to wenguang's place cos of gideon's party. weirdness. ended up going to play lan. hahaha. morphling's imba. oh well. went back, watched movies, went home. nothing much for me to say anyway.
and this is where the light ends.
let's ponder over the question of identity, shall we? who are you? who am i to you? bet you wished you knew who you were to me. yes. who are you. who in oblivion are you? start looking at yourself, before you start thinking everything around you is flawed. look in the mirror and see the cracks in your character and in your soul. you claim to expect so little, and you're not getting it; truth is you are getting more than that, yet you do not treasure it. you whine and complain about the times where it is in lack, yet you do not cherish the times when you have it. you claim to seek your dues, yet, i do wonder whether you do deserve it at times. you. who are you really. oh, and really. stop using me. you think my name's really great? you think it's better forging your identity off mine? you think that by claiming you are so and so's _____ you'll get far in life? stop using me. really. stop trying to impress. you make me sick. you're hanging on for all the wrong reasons; your very goals are in direct conflict with who i am, yet you have the nerve to link your idiocy back to me. i'm definitely not coming from a higher than thou point of view, and i'm not trying to make you be me, so stop thinking that i'm imposing what i want on you. i do not believe in forcing people to go a certain way. i want what's best (or what i believe is best, for i am only human and i can be wrong) but if you don't want it, you're free to walk your own road. but do not border the two distinctions and try to have the best of both worlds. you do not bear my mark. stop dragging me into your self-destruction and desolation. as of now, you have absolutely no association with me. i'm sick of you. really. but of course, i will give what i owe. 35 pushups, was it not? i'll double that in your face, and then it's goodbye. you've been harping upon it, insisting it shows your superior strength compared to mine. you think you're that good. okay, so you have more physical tolerance (i will not mention i went for a workout prior to that, cos you will choose to neglect that), but can you do 7.58 minutes for your 2.4km? have you raised anyone under you to become an sp? do i ever diss you about how slow you are or how ineffective you are? i don't. cos i know i'm blessed in areas, and i lack in certain areas. what sets me apart is that i know in my weakness His Strength will show. you don't. you hide and lie and convince everyone you're perfect. you paint that perfect picture of yourself, yet when you break, you want the entire world to pity you. you want the glory without the labour. you're everything i stand against. you've worn me out, and i'm tired of trying to be there already. come back if you're serious, if not you're free to live your life the way you do. i'm not going to find you; you come back because you know you're going down a road which i will not. you pull yourself out of the pits you fall into; i will no longer do so.
this is goodbye.
the mass exodus begins...
12:27 AM
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Sunday, December 10, 2006
give thanks
to sis,
thank you for everything today. really. i'm sorry for totally being unreasonable and making you worry. thanks for just being there today; for hearing me out and not being judgmental. i was bottling up too much about stuff that's happened, and i guess i just cracked today. it's been a draining period, and it's been the most trying time of the whole year despite it being the holidays. thank you for just listening, and in your silence i felt your warmth and i knew you cared. it's not about the few words you spoke, but you knew just what i needed and you gave it. it's not that i can't fight my own battles; i've done that all my life. i just need someone to heal me; the physical wounds will heal over time, the emotional and spiritual ones do not. ignoring them does not make them go away. you've been there time after time, tending to me and making sure i was ready for the next battle that i would face. i have my pride, and i've learnt never to let my guard down lest i become vunerable, but you're one that i would let through the fortress i've constructed - past the walls and gates into where i am truly who i am, where no facade exists.
it's not your words that cause me to be stronger; it's your silence that let's me know you care and understand. it's a transcendental connection we share, and i'm glad i have you. really. you know how much i hate words - they are ever so deceitful - so you speak through your actions. your arm around me was reassuring, letting me know that you'll always be there, as you've always have been. indeed, time and space cannot constrain your love. and though there are trying times for the both of us, we emerge from those strengthening the bond we have. you're just one of the few people that make me smile without reason. you know i love you, and you mean alot to me.
to you.
Stained Glass Masquerade
by Casting Crowns
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feeling so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain on our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
1:19 AM
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Saturday, December 09, 2006
when darkness turns to light
Finish the sentence.
lets run through the tunnel of life
i am hot [:
i wish i could find you
i can't believe You died for me
you're such a tease
why did you have to be larger than life
i love God
i hate stuff i cannot mention here
i need a little insight that will make things right
my favourite store sells antique transformers collectibles
i am in love with the One above.
the best season of old friends, lost loves and the season of mists
i love you because you're just amazing
my best friend likes cherry trees
they are my good friends because reverse polarity overgrowth freezing field epicenter and poison nova owns
my favourite subject is literature
why is this happening at all
how am i going to risk it when the future's bleak and clouded with uncertainty
where are you now
The first word coming to mind
love me
hate you
cute 5151283
smart(ty) me
pretty boy
hot me
strong thatchinawomanwhobroketheworldrecordforweightliftingintheasiangames
short farts
famous amos
popular bookstore
my best friend is gay
my worst enemy is myself
my best family member is my wife (HAHAHAHA okay nvm)
What do you look like everythingyou'vedreamedof
12:32 AM
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Friday, December 08, 2006
the past
past smses.
past photos.
past emails sent.
past phone calls.
past goodnight calls.
past msn conversations.
past face-to-face conversations.
past relationships.
past mistakes.
past laughter.
past concern.
past trust.
past love.
past redeption
3:51 AM
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lifesong
went to play pool with chet and eugene today.
rushed down to yishun for the casting crowns concert, and it was worth it. the ministry there was really touching. aside from the worship which triggered the spiritual engagement and high, there was something more. it's definitely not the hype and excitement you'll get from a hillsongs concert, or fop for that matter. but somehow when the lyrics are flashed and you sing, coupled with the stories and inspiration behind them, it just makes you want to tear because the issues are so real. it forces us to take a step back from our life and reflect on what we're doing as christians, and the message of being conscious of leading a godly life becomes so poignant. there's still one more concert today, considering it's friday already. so yeah.
2:19 AM
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Thursday, December 07, 2006
i am a bimbo
[ ] My fingernails/toenails are almost always painted
[x] During the summer pretty much the only shoes I wear are flip flops
[ ] My favorite toy as a child were barbies
[x] My favorite color is purple, totally
[x] I did Gymnastics (in pri sch)
[x] I love skirts (i wanna wear dresses. stupid. my prom rantings.)
[ ] Hollister is my favorite place to shop
[ ] Tight jeans are the only jeans I'll wear
[x] I love chocolate (DUH!)
[x] I've never had a real job
TOTAL: 6/10
[x] My hair is straightened (it's not curly, so yeah)
[x] I have at least 8 friendster pictures (i shall upload soon)
[x] I usually go shopping once a week
[x] I love to hang out with friends
[x] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace (yeah why?)
[ ] I've gone to a tanning salon
[x] I've gone to the beach to tan
[ ] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes
[x] I watch either the OC or Laguna Beach
[ ] I change my icon weekly
TOTAL: 7/10
[ ] I wear a shower cap
[ ] I would NEVER step foot into Hot Topic
[x] My cell phone might as well become a part of me
[ ] I wear mascara everyday
[x] I've been or am on a diet
[x] Bathing suits are adorable
[ ] I don't know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
[x] Big sunglasses are hot
[x] I have gotten my nails done
[ ] I own over 10 purses
TOTAL: 5/10
[ ] MTV is one of my favorite channels
[x] All I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys
[ ] I love to have other girls do my hair
[x] I give and receive hugs from all my friends
[ ] I hate bugs, snakes, lizards, spiders
[x] Carnivals are so fun!
[x] Summer is THE best season
[ ] My swimsuit has 2 pieces
[x] I'm waiting for my knight in shining armor
[x] Pianists are so hot.
TOTAL: 6/10
[x] You write me a poem and tell me I'm beautiful and i will fall for you.
[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I cry often
[ ] My car smells like vanilla
[x] My dishes get washed more than once a week
[ ] I don't do sports
[ ] I HATE to run
[x] I squeal when I am surprised or angry
[ ] I eat dried fruit as a snack
[x] I love romance novels
TOTAL: 6/10
[ ] Drew Barrymore is so cute
[x] I dance a lot
[x] I usually spend over an hour to get ready to leave my house
[ ] I only have like 5 billion hair products
[x] I love to get dressed up
[x] Every part of my outfit needs to match
[x] I talk on the phone at least once a day to my friends
[x] I would love to have a photo shoot of myself
[x] Price on clothes hardly matters
[ ] I apply lip gloss 50 times a day
TOTAL: 7/10
[x] I wish I were a model
[x] I wish I could meet Paris Hilton to slap her (can you say conceited?)
[ ] I have been something that was slutty on halloween
[ ] I own Uggs
[x] Hip Hop is the best music
[x] I pop my collar
[x] I like to be the center of attention
[x] Guys with Mohawks are crazy
[x] Horses are beautiful
[x] I'd rather not pay attention in school (in tjc, yeah. stupid place.)
TOTAL: 8/10
[x] Cats are adorable
[x] I write my own music/song/lyric
[x] I would love to visit Hawaii
[x] Valentine's day!
[x] White is better then black
[x] I wouldn't be caught dead in all black
[x] My closet is STOCK FULL of clothes
[x] I hate the grunge look of a beard
[ ] I love to read gossip magazines
[ ] I love to gossip
TOTAL: 8/10
[ ] I had Lisa Frank folders, posters as a kid
[x] I love Celine Dion (songs)
[ ] My bubble baths are 2 hr long
[ ] My wedding only needs a groom because it's already planned
[ ] My friends and I are in a strict group. We mostly only hang out with each other
[x] I like kids
[x] Diet drinks are the best (can you say diet coke? :D)
[ ] I'm all about being vegetarian
[ ] I refuse to eat at McDonald's
[x] I check my friendster everyday
TOTAL: 4/10
[x] I LOVE life!
[x] I have a lot of jewellery!
[ ] Claire's has cheap jewellery
[x] My screen names have x's in them (xtian counts right?)
[x] Either one of my friendster profile has/had <3
[ ] I would never want to be the opposite sex
[x] It's not what he/she said, it's the way he/she said it
[x] I have more than 3 pillows on my bed (Exactly 3! Main pillow and 2 moo moos.)
[x] I have a stuffed toy sleeping beside me
[x] I love tidy and clean places
TOTAL: 8/10
GRAND TOTAL: 65/100
fear my bimboness. rawr.
11:04 PM
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Wednesday, December 06, 2006
of halves
1141411510 says:
what sian 1/2. -.-
timo sian1/2 says:
sian zi pua
1141411510 says:
I KNOW LA.
1141411510 says:
lol.
1141411510 says:
but sian 1/2?!?!
4:52 PM
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lost
i think i only blog at unearthly hours. i like the stillness of the night, where nothing stirs and the sound of the keys i hit seem to resonate through all eternity.
STUPID AC ADMISSION TEST! NOW I CAN'T WATCH DESIRE. AND THE CHELSEA MATCH. GRR.
i'm supposed to sleep early tonight. but i slept at 7pm waiting for jeann to call back or sth. then i woke up at 10.30pm, so i watched numb3rs, but i have that episode alr. waste my time. and i think cow think's i'm avoiding her. haha. i said "ttyl" 3 times. like when i unintentionally went to sleep, and when i went to get supper. oh well...
oh well...
oh, yeah. lost. right. lost was pretty alright. we were the first team that arrived for lunch. [: i mean, with chester, mark and myself in a group, i have only one thing to say. IMBA. lol. really. considering the other groups didn't have much sec4s. but we had a hoard of pri6s. the girls were just loud and noisy, with ear shattering shrieking voices. the only guy was just... well i shall not say. haha. kinda weird, but alright i guess.
i shall try to recall the game stations. first was zhichao's station, where we had to fish out buckets of water with hangers to fill a bottle. then it was off to the dam to smear jam on ourselves and transport cotton balls around. my beautiful nose. grr. then it was...aloysius' station. the puzzles were easy. haha. i like iq stuff. yeah. granted everyone could take them out, but i always had to put it back again for them. weirdness. then off to michelle's station for the quizzes. question 10 was sth like, "what do you do when you see a black bear?" sounds like the funny chinese textbook story when the guy played dead and his friend ran up the tree. but...there was no such option! rahhh. f was zhihao's station. finding coloured objects. like pink, green, gold, silver stuff. yeah. pretty easy. then we had station g - lunch. -.- then we went to jas por's station a to catch stuff thrown at us. when you have three fruits thrown per round, and three caps... hmm... that's not too hard eh? :D then brenda's station! stupid arrange yourselves in order to _____ kinda game. grrrr. took soooooooooo long. then back to jas por to do station c and evangelise to a person who won't listen. so we couldn't use speech. that one was fine. then finally heart attack at yvette's station. the twist was to not get 4 same numbered cards, or cards of the same pattern. rahhh. pattern?! it's not pattern. gee. i'm tired. nvm. so it ended cos we ran out of time.
then we had to make our way back to church. yours truly was a total idiot and ran back to church. i stopped halfway to flag a bus cos i felt like puking. think i didn't fully digest lunch. but the bus just drove past. so i had to run all the way back. and i made it before most came back. i beat the buses! what joy. -.- went to shower. had a short word from pda. then split into our zones for next year for a short briefing.
then we had the prize presentation. we came in third. sis' group was second. jesslim's was first. our lcell's good eh. haha. 2/3 of the top 3. i bet sis won cos she had my aura or sth. [: yeah. must be it. bronson was ohsoobviously scandaling with someone! HAHA. and then we threw mentos around that bronson wanted nth to do with. [: bronson is uber scandalous. really. there's like, the small red fruit. then there's ______, and now ______ and _______. lol. number of spaces do not mean the number of letters yeah.
WHY AM I DOING THIS WHEN I HAVE A TEST TMR?
12:13 AM
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Tuesday, December 05, 2006
the cure for boredom can be found in quizzes from chetwin's blog
why i am giving titles like fallout boy. -.-
quizzes off chet.
1.Full Name: Wong Zhen Jie Isaac Christian
2.Name backwards: naitsirhC caasI eiJ nehZ gnoW
3.Meaning of name: go find out yourself
4. Nickname: saac
5. Screen Name: 1141411510
6. D.O.B: 160490
7. Place of Birth: singapore
8. Nationality: singaporean
9. Current Location: in front of the tablet
10. Star Sign: 5 stars. duh. [: lol.
11. Religion: it's in the name.
12. Height: 170cm.
13. Weight: 58kg
14. Shoe Size: 10
15. Hair Color: beautifully blonde. i'm a bimbo. okay, fine. it's light brown.
16. Eye Color: the colour of a pond, according to rachelteo
17. Who do you look like: ashton kutcher. swoon.
18. Innie or Outtie: somewhereinbetweenwheretherearenospaces
19. Lefty or Righty: ambidexterous
20. Gay, Straight, Bi or Others: straight, though it's highly in doubt
21. Best Friends: italo calvino, umberto eco, arthur c clarke, and all great writers
22. Best friends you trust most: sis i guess.
23. Favourite Pals: ashton! [:
24. Best Friend of opposite sex: sis.
25. Best Buddies: how many synonymous questions do you wanna ask? my pillowcase! grr.
26. Boyfriend or Girlfriend: girlfriend
27. Crush: ...i've mentioned it alr. bet you didn't see it.
28. Parents: err, what about them?
29. Worst Enemy: myself.
30. Favourite online guy: myself. i don't wanna give names lest you all get jealous. haha. [:
31. Favourite online girl: refer to number 27.
32. Craziest friend: kenneth "aunty at mcdonalds can you please deepfry my langarts notes please?" fok
33. Advice Friend: i give it, and keep none for myself.
34. Loudest Friend: any screaming girl
35. Person you cry with: God, or close friends. but usually the former.
36. Any sisters: yeah?
37. Any brothers: yeah. biological short guy listening to weird songs...
38. Any disease: closest is asthma. and you wonder how i'm a tracker.
40. Pager: ...wrong era.
41. Personal phone line: yeah.
42. Phone: sony ericsson w800i, motorola v3i razr
43. Lave Lamp: what?
44. Pool or hot tub: pool. i swim laps.
45. A car: i'm not going to own one. people will give me rides in theirs. so i don't need to drive. [:
46. Your personality: warped. really. i mean, how many people can't pick between thinker and feeler? rahh.
47. Driving: people up the wall. it's my speciality.
48. Room: i have my own, if that's what you're asking.
49. Whats missing: haha. refer to number 27.
50. School: i speak into my life. acjc. burn tjc. what kinda stupid school / ip centre is that man. lol.
51. Bed: nice and comfy.
52. Relationship with parents: pretty alright.
53. Believe in yourself: very much so.
54. Believe in love at first sight: no. that's retarded.
55. Good listener: yeah, reckon so.
56. Get along well with parents: yeah.
57. Save e-mail convos: yeah.
58. Pray: yeah.
59. Believe in reincarnation: yeah. when i use sk.
60. Make fun of people: yeah. they're jokes what. i'm evil.
61. Like to talk on the phone: err, no.
62. Want to get married: yeah.
63. Like to drive: yeah. refer to 47.
64. Motion Sickness: yeah. who doesn't get sick when seeing motion being passed? [:
65. Eat stem of broccoli: eww no.
66. Eat chicken with fork: err yeah.
67. Dream in colours: technicolour dreams.
68. Type with your fingers on home role: yeah.
69. Sleep with stuff animals: YEAH, i have a zoo!
70. Next to you: MOMO THE SCANDALOUS _____ LOVER.
71. On the walls of your room: ermm, a mirror? i did not put that up!
72. On your mousepad: i have no mousepad.
73. Dream car: MIRAGE. watch transformers! :D
74. Dream date: err, 32/13/-01 yeah. cool date right? :P
75. Dream honeymoon spot: in between timbakone and timbakthree.
76. Dream husband or wife: ASHTON! diedemidie.
77. Bedtime: ashton's bedtime! :D
78. Under your bed: giant monsters that i send to joelle to freak her out cos she's insane.
79. Single most important question: who's your daddy? lol.
80. Bad time of the day: 6am - 6pm. i'm a nightstalker.
81. Your worst fear: joelle getting ashton! ):
82. The weather: dark and scary and very nice to hunt. nighttime, time to die!
83. Time: 1.06am.
84. Date: 5th December 2006
85. Best trick did on someone: "look hot guy!" "where!" "next to you!" [:
86. Theme song: BOSTON!
87. Hardest thing about growing up: HAVING ACNE AND IT IS GROSS!
88. Funniest experience: poking charmaine!
89. Scariest experience: hey look! a very big monster!
90. Silliest thing you have ever said: i'm learnding. go banana! lisa's a girl in my school, i like chocolate.
91. Most desperate and funniest thing i have done to get the opposite sex: sex change? lol. wait, i have not done that. duh.
92. Scariest thing while you are with your friends: getting mobbed by a bunch of fans. yeah.
93. Worst feeling: wanting to puke but not being able to puke. so you taste puke. and it taste pukey! lol.
94. Best feeling in the world: gayness!
Name : saac
Birthdate : 160490
Age : 16
Blood Type : O
1) Favorite Tv Show(s)?
desire: table for three, nip / tuck, numb3rs, prison break, alias, csi, lost. well. mainly stuff on channels 18 and 19. and other stuff i get from sam.
2) Favorite Chocolate?
haigh's. from australia.
3)Ice-Cream with toppings?
nuts. not sprinkles.
4) Emotional?
i guess? i cried when i watched lakehouse, so yeah. sis didn't. X:
5) Black pen or Blue pen?
blue.
6)Computer Addict?
addiction is bad. so nope.
7) Favorite activity(s) on the Com?
dota, msn, online poker. blame 007.
8)Prefer Guys or Girls?
no preferences. eeps. i sound bi. haha.
9) 8-ball or 9-ball?
9 ball. play to my strengths of sick combination shots and position plays.
10) Ever thought of changing Hair colour?
ash green.
11)Most exciting thing that happened this week.
that will happen? my ac application. then camp.
12) Most exciting thing that happened last week.
scandalous lcell. [: not my fault.
13) Favorite Super Hero?
batman. he's the most...real of all superheroes. he has his shadowy dark side too.
14) Thought of getting married?
yeah.
15) Thought of having kids?
yeah. [:
16) How many? boy/girl?
2 pairs of twins. one pair each.
17)Music or Quietness?
a good mixture of both keeps me healthy.
18)Music Preference?
really wide range. basically anything but techno. it's a turn off.
19)Religon?
christianity.
20)Multi-tasking?
i happen to be very good at it. i doubt whether i'm a guy at such times. i'm positively androgynous.
21) Shoes or Slippers?
shoes.
22) Longs or Shorts?
shorts.
23) Cars or Bikes?
cars.
24) Favorite country?
switzerland or france.
25) Cartoon or Anime?
cartoons.
26) 12hrs or 24hrs?
24 hours.
27)If you could change the hours in a day, wad would it be?
wouldn't change it.
28) Gold/ sliver?
what sliver?! -.- gold. sells more. i get gold, sell it, and buy lots of classy looking silver stuff. yeah.
29) 3 best guy friends.
bronsoniaminconstantdenialhon
mark
dre
30) 3 best girl friends.
I WILL NOT ANSWER THIS. people who know me will know why.
31) From 1 to 10.. rank your happiness in your life.
9. i'm content. really. even with so much i could be sad about, God has been so good.
12:31 AM
0 people bothered to read
Monday, December 04, 2006
3am
ever dreaded something so bad that you wished it never came? or that when it came, you're left wishing it would pass? that aptly describes my present predicament, yet the irony of it all is that i feel i'm frozen in time.
how one test can determine my future is something i have yet to get over. really.
i have to admit, that life will never be smooth sailing. but it will never be right without God. but at present i feel the need to constantly check myself and ensure that He is in control. i think i'm worrying too much - about the test; about next year; about people; about camp, and well, just about almost everything. i feel rather...lost as of late. i'm struggling to cope with a lack of security. it's just not me to feel comfortable when there's a lack of structure, security, and concrete plans. i hate the answer "i don't know". i need to know what i'm doing. i need to know where i'll be. and in all the anxiety i realise i'm drifting from God. i'm not backsliding, but i'm just taking my eyes off Him and unto the circumstances that surround me.
i love being emotional. really. i will not deny my emotions; i'm often true with them. why would anyone deny them, when your emotions are what allow you to feel God's Love?
"the joy of the Lord is your strength. smile always."
now i can trade these ashes in for beauty
and wear forgiveness like a crown
come in to kiss the feet of mercy
i lay every burden down
at the foot of the cross
for You have won my heart ;
and wear forgiveness like a crown
come in to kiss the feet of mercy
i lay every burden down
at the foot of the cross
for You have won my heart ;
3:01 AM
0 people bothered to read
Sunday, December 03, 2006
if i had a penny for every thought i would be rich
recount.
slept in on monday. went out with tim to play pool on tues. wed and thurs were spent at chester's house sleeping and watching mark, joshua, charles bash schoolkids up on the ps2. fri was spent meeting sis eileen and with the lcell. i maintain i did not bring anyone to dark deserted corners of marina south shopping centre. i just know it exists because i am...smart. yeah. mark's trying to steal my secret spot. i will sue.
quiz off eugene's.
SONG PLAYING AT THE A MOMENT
-love song for a savior
REASONS FOR LIVING?
-God; jer 29:11
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE OK?
-i'm not okay. i'm the reason why the aircon does not work.
EVER DONATED BLOOD?
-to 6 legged female insects.
ACCESSORIES YOU USUALLY WEAR
-ring, wristband, necklace, hairband (when i had longer hair...)
ONE SONG TO DESCRIBE A HEARTBREAK IN THE PAST
-iris (i bet you couldn't tell)
LAST PLACE YOU WENT TO
-serene or the toilet, take your pick
LAST PERSON YOU WENT OUT WITH
-sis eileen / the lcell. macs doesn't count.
MOST EXCITING SPORT
-cow hunting. [:
EVER HAD A BABY?
-yeah, of course. sbs what. what were you thinking?
MOVIE YOU WANNA WATCH
-flags of our fathers, saw3 (stupid r21 nonsense)
ANY PIERCINGS?
-used to. long story. and my nice sis is to shut up and stop smiling to herself now.
ACT ON STAGE BEFORE?
-duh.
STRUCKED BY LIGHTNING BEFORE?
-yeah, you know in the last dota game the stupid lightning revenant attacked me but got owned. it counts right?
DANCED WITH YOUR LOVED ONES BEFORE?
-yeah. dance with my Father and small kids
EVER WISHED YOU COULD TURN BACK TIME?
-definitely
ONE SONG THAT IS MEANINGFUL TO YOU
-josh groban's you are loved
MISSING SOMEBODY NOW?
-i'm perennially missing someone or the other
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING TOMORROW?
-go for d&d, have dinner, call sis
EVER THOUGHT OF ROBBING A BANK?
-no. that's stupid. "i'd marry and old rich person and hopes he/she dies fast so i get the money" -someone. that's a...better idea i guess.
ONE THING YOU TOTALLY REGRET DOING?
-our most painful regrets often come from what was not done.
DO PEOPLE LIKE YOU?
-stupid superficial question. of course they do. well, some don't. whatever (i'm turning bimbotic)
WHAT WAS THE LAST GAME YOU PLAYED ON COMPUTER?
-dota / minesweeper flags with cow.
IS THERE SOMEONE WHO MEANS ALOT TO YOU FOR THE MOMENT?
-yeah? why do they make these questions sound scandalous when my answers are not?
DO YOU HATE SOMEONE AT THIS MOMENT?
-don't like, but not hate.
WHAT DO YOU WISH TO HAPPEN NOW?
-go figure.
LAST TIME YOU ATE PIZZA?
-class lunch on the last week of school
DO PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE WIERD?
-you are one of those imbeciles that can't spell WEIRD. weird is good. mhmm. so there.
MOVIES NOW SHOWING THAT YOU HATE?
-the hilary duff chick flick, that one, that one, the other one. oh, and this one too.
MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR ROOM?
-something green! but it's not always in my room. but who cares? [:
WHO IS THE PERSON YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW?
-God, the signified of the signifier known as the green thing in my room, and 8.5 [:
EVER CALLED A PERSON USELESS?
-i think if i were to be critical, i'd use worse words. not sure though. oh wait, yeah. the noobs that play dota.
2:22 AM
0 people bothered to read
of memory
without desire.
craig craig wake up look i have marbles ahh more marbles there's a wooden stick figure right there hang on i gotta go in like matrix slow motion you dodged the bullet neo now you will die by chainsaw look a very big monster a big monster a big monster let's let the japanese take care of it banana yellow brown overalls do you want to play the piano with me i don't really want to but i beg you listen elton john i'm sick of you so i'm quiting the beatles i don't want the beatles i want the cockroaches but the cockroaches are out of business cockroaches cockroaches crayons crayons crayons crayons cockroaches we won't die we won't die if you chop off our heads ahh watch out nuclear power office spaces are very wonderful for the office spaces i often thought when i was sitting at my desk the desk when i was alone alone that i was very lonely lonely and there she lay and and what did you do i hit her with a beanbag oh you criminal society society jim help me you are in jail for twelve years twelve twelve twelve such an odd number right i like beans listen partner there ain't enough rounds for the two of us then i'll just leave geez you want some cinnamon before you go haha i have fooled you the cinnamon was actually basil oh my god now you will die from basil poisoning courtney courtney get me my gun i am courtney get me my gun no wahahahaha then i'll just get it myself but the gun was missing baboom treetops and treeforts our society has now ended die british die i shall chant my holy powers to defeat the british go moses go moses m o a ozis ozis ozis ozis moses and the water parted and the fishes died oh i am the british and moses defeated me and suddenly oil spilt everywhere and everyone got acne and it was gross i'm very sad and everyone became nerds for the rest of their lives
all from memory
2:14 AM
1 people bothered to read